Have you ever said something something like, “she’s perfect, but ________.”
Do you have a long checklist of what you’re looking for in a partner? If he’s not tall enough or if he doesn’t make enough money, do you say no?
Are you looking for the “perfect” partner? …Stop because he or she doesn’t exist.
In this video by The Guardian, Phillppa Perry addresses the topic of finding perfection in a partner.
“No one is right for anyone…No human beings are fixed entities. We impact upon each other, and we both change during the process.
The real business of relationships happen when we being to influence each other. This is when two oddly shaped pieces being to morph so that they fit together. This is when real attachment starts.
No one will ever be quite right for you because perfection isn’t love. If you take the risk of throwing out your ambiguity and committing yourself to loving someone, imperfect as you both are, you may find that it works the other way around. That love is perfection.”
Don’t treat dating like you’re shopping for a perfect pair of jeans. Don’t treat it as if it’s a job interview.
Instead, look for someone who brings something out in you that no one else does. Someone who influences your growth and productivity in a positive way. “Someone with whom [you] can learn to feel safe.”
Like Philippa says, your partner should be someone you grow and morph with so you fit together. You and your partner should be two individuals who are are separate but interdependent.