Brené Brown Reflections

Blamers Anonymous

You’re late for work, and it’s your partner’s fault because they turned off the alarm clock. You make a mistake in a presentation, and it’s your co-workers fault because they didn’t catch it in a review. You trip on a toy, and it’s your child’s fault for leaving it on the floor.

You’re a blamer.

Take a moment to watch this video by the RSA on blame based on Brené Brown’s talk on “The Power of Vulnerability.”

“Blame is simply the discharging of discomfort and pain. It has an inverse relationship of accountability. Accountability is by definition a vulnerable process. People who blame a lot seldom have the tenacity and grit to actually hold people accountable because we expend all of our energy raging for 15 seconds figuring out whose fault something is.”

It’s much easier to blame, and it’s your default setting. You put up your shield, and you come out fighting in an effort to gain control. In that blind moment, you fail to see the situation as it actually is. You’re scared of the consequences of owning your mistakes.

But if you can’t take responsibility for your mistakes, you’ll never really be able to take responsibility for your successes either. You’ll always live in the shadow of worry of what could go wrong.

“How many of you go to that place when something bad happens, the first thing you want to know is whose fault is it?” Join Blamers Anonymous. Notice the tendency in yourself, and when something goes wrong, don’t fight. Listen.


Feature Image Source: Tandberg


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1 Comment

  • Reply Charles Daly | Wankers and Aristotle June 19, 2016 at 7:41 am

    […] complain instead of taking action, we are complainers.  If our default reaction is blame, we are blamers. And if we wank when we could be creating… The challenge is not to do excellent work, but to […]

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