We say yes as a way to show love. A perfectionist’s need to say yes is dangerous because it originates from the desire to gain acceptance and approval from others. It doesn’t stem from the self-compassion that is required to foster genuine relationships.
Putting others first is not always a bad thing, but we tend to neglect our own feelings due to a fear of losing acceptance and love. We say yes even when we want to say no. We say yes even if it hurts our own needs.
This leads to anger and passive aggressive behavior. We get annoyed by small things that we don’t even care about because internally, we are mad about something else. We get angrier because people can’t read our minds. We don’t communicate our true feelings because AGAIN, we have a fear of losing acceptance and love.
The solution to this cycle of co-dependent behavior is to love yourself. Own your feelings. Own your needs. Don’t be afraid to share how to truly feel. Self-compassion will turn into genuine compassion for the people you love. The more you love yourself, the more others will love you back.